Much of the patient-authored info floating around the net comes from our sister cancer warriors, and it seems that the boys are less likely to publish their thoughts. Our wives and mothers know all too well how we handle being sick, so it's worth sharing some thoughts with the gents out there on how we get through this. The points listed below are things that I was either told or should have been told, mostly from my medical team or survivors. Getting through the initial stress of diagnosis was the least supported part of my treatment, but an experienced patient can nudge you in the right direction. Wax the 'stache into some handlebars, pour a brandy, light off a good stogie and scroll on. Here's how we beat cancer in a manly fashion.
Forget everything you ever knew about cancer, treatment, survival and how you expected to handle it. If you thought you'd never seek treatment if diagnosed, or that treatment was pointless and everyone who gets it dies anyway, you're wrong. Cancer and treatment are extremely complex, and the treatment between forms of the disease can be radically different. Your will to keep walking on this planet will overpower your previous thoughts on dying with your boots on instead of seeking treatment.
Prepare for the reactions of other people. This was the one I never saw coming. Everyone around you will encounter stress over your cancer diagnosis, and their response may not be helpful. It may even seem thoughtless or rude, or cause more stress. The best defense is a buffer, a person willing to pass news and keep the load off the patient. Others will have to understand that you're the center of the universe for now. It's not a comfortable place to be, but it's necessary. Make sure people understand what sort of interaction you need, and that needing to be alone to rest doesn't mean you have a pistol in your mouth. Whether you need some space or some company, be honest to everyone around you. This is a great topic to share with other survivors.
Beware the false prophets. You'll be amazed at the idiocy that people believe on the topic of cancer. Don't discount valuable holistic and alternative treatments that help with your recovery and minimize side effects, but don't buy into the hype. Your medical crew isn't out to suck money from you. Saving your life is expensive and worth it.
Seek the best treatment possible. Large cancer hospitals offer treatment may not be available in smaller cities. That's not to say that physicians or treatment in other places is sub-par, but you'll find very specialized medicine in the bigger centers. I received excellent care at my local center for chemo and radiation, but my surgery was handled by a specialist in a large center. The downside to big hospitals is that the cost of travel may be prohibitive for some. There are charities and support groups for patients needing help with these extra expenses. Please consider supporting them.
Do exactly as you're told. Take notes, bring someone with a clear head to appointments, read everything that's given to you, ask questions and follow directions. Know what you're supposed to do and follow every instruction. Don't hide symptoms. Most treatment centers offer an online log to write down notes as often as needed for your staff to monitor how you're doing. Use it. Feedback to your care team is critical. Don't make someone have to tell your doctor how you're really doing. This valuable advice saved me quite a bit of discomfort along the way.
Don't fear tough changes. People have died because they feared life with a colostomy or similar life-changing mod to their factory gear. I had an ileostomy (similar to a colostomy) for seven months, and it's not a big deal. Colostomy bags and similar appliances come in cartoon character patterns for infants and children. You can be as tough as them. There's a reason you hear the word "life" before "limb." We're pretty resilient creatures and can adapt to just about anything.
Recovery feels strange. Treatment is a battle. It's a challenging, busy time. When it's over, things are oddly quiet. You're checked less and less often as you heal and beat the disease, and it feels very odd to not be under constant care. It's tough to focus on rebuilding your health, but that's the goal. Not only does restoring health seem to help prevent recurrence in some cases, it will be critical to survival should you have to fight again. It may take years to feel completely normal again. This is a great time to communicate with other survivors and keep your head straight.
When you're healed, give something back. Be thankful and appreciative of your supporters and medical staff. Help others. Stay active in patient social media circles. We always want to hear from survivors. Volunteer at your local center. Participate in fundraising and awareness. Grow a goofy Victorian mustache and spam your friends with a blog.
Hopefully this is information that my growing reader base will never need. Just about every survivor I've encountered is happy to discuss their treatment, especially the hacks that make it more tolerable. We always look to veterans of the job at hand for pointers, and cancer is no different. Never be afraid to ask for help. It's out there.